Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I stole a fireplace last night.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
