He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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