they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
