Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
