$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Enjoy the penises
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
