Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
