Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
