we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
