At least make sure they are 18
Why
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
