You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I think people are normalizing furries
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
