I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
