Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
