Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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