Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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