apparently the secret to your success is patron
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
