Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
