and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
