MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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