But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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