Whod you bang
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
