Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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