Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Farmville is her only friend.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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