I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
