There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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