So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
