Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
