This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
