So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
