At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
