Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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