a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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