Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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