God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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