Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
