im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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