Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
