just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Sext me about skeletons
Congratulations! We have a period
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
