i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
