I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
