I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
