I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
His hands were made for my vagina.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
