he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
