i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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