Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
