Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
