i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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