I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
