R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
