I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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