I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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