I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
